Set 02 · Reference Sheets · Reference Pages
How to ask, and what to send them.
A reference is only as good as the referee's memory, and most referees are asked badly — a one-line message with no context, months after they last saw you work. The fix is a short brief that makes writing a strong reference easy. Three samples: asking a current manager, asking someone you have not spoken to in years, and the brief itself.
SamplesThree, complete
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IncludesThe referee brief
Sample OneDelicate · Still employed
The hardest version. You are telling your manager you are leaving before you have anywhere to go, so the message has to be respectful, specific and give them a way to decline.
12 August 2026
Mr. Kashif Nadeem
Finance Manager
Nishat Textile Mills
A request — and a conversation I owe you
Dear Kashif,
I have been approached about a finance manager role at another group and have decided to pursue it. I wanted to tell you directly rather than have you hear it later, and to ask whether you would be willing to act as a referee.
I want to be clear that this is not about dissatisfaction here. Four years with you has been the most useful stretch of my career, and if the process comes to nothing I would be glad to carry on exactly as we are.
If you would rather not be a referee while I am still on the team, I completely understand and there will be no awkwardness from my side.
If you are willing, I will send you a short note covering the role and the two or three things they are likely to ask about, so it takes you ten minutes rather than an hour. I have asked them not to make contact until an offer is on the table.
With thanks,
Bilal Ahmed
Why this one works
- It leads with honesty, not the request. Telling him first, then asking. Reversing this order is what makes these conversations go badly.
- It removes the insult. "Not about dissatisfaction here" and a genuine compliment. A manager's first reaction to this news is usually personal.
- It offers a graceful no. "There will be no awkwardness from my side" makes declining safe, which paradoxically makes agreement more likely.
- It quantifies the burden. "Ten minutes rather than an hour" is the sentence that gets a yes from a busy person.
- It states the contact timing. Reassures him he will not get a call tomorrow.
Sample TwoCold · Four years since contact
A former manager you have not spoken to since 2022. The message has to re-establish who you are without being embarrassing about the silence.
12 August 2026
Mr. Faisal Butt
Formerly Finance Manager, Packages Limited
Nadia Aslam — a request, four years late
Dear Mr. Butt,
I hope this finds you well. I worked in your team at Packages from 2016 to 2019 as Assistant Manager, Finance — I built the receivables ageing report and worked on the management accounts for the retail division.
I am returning to work after two years of family leave, during which I completed my ACCA. I am applying for finance manager roles and I would be grateful if you would act as a referee for the period we worked together.
I know it has been some years and that you may not feel able to comment on my work now. If that is the case please just say so — I will not take it as anything other than sensible.
If you are willing, I will send a one-page note with the dates, what I worked on and the points they are likely to ask about, so that nothing depends on memory.
With thanks and best wishes,
Nadia Aslam
Why this one works
- It identifies her by work, not just by name. "I built the receivables ageing report" — four years on, the project is a better memory trigger than the job title.
- The gap is acknowledged in the subject line. "Four years late" is disarming and honest, and stops the message reading as presumptuous.
- The break is mentioned in one clause. Enough context, no explanation requested or given.
- "So that nothing depends on memory" is the key phrase. It removes the real reason people decline old reference requests — the fear of being vague and embarrassing themselves.
Sample ThreeThe one page you send after they agree
This is the document almost nobody sends and it is what makes references strong. One page, factual, and it turns an hour of effort into ten minutes.
Bilal Ahmed
Referee Brief — prepared for Mr. Kashif Nadeem
Profile
Thank you for agreeing to act as a referee. This note is only to save you time — please use or ignore any of it. They have agreed not to contact you until an offer is discussed.
The Role I Have Applied For
Finance Manager — Crescent Textile Group, Lahore
Applied 4 Aug 2026
Reporting to the Group Financial Controller; three direct reports
Focus: month-end close across four entities, controls, and audit readiness
Our Working Relationship — the facts
Senior Accountant, reporting directly to you
Apr 2022 — present
Month-end close for three entities; close time reduced from 12 days to 6
2022 — 2024
Reconciliation audit recovering PKR 3.2M in duplicate vendor payments
2023
Supervised two accounts officers; reviewed all payment batches above PKR 500,000
2023 —
Sales tax and income tax filings — three years, no penalties
2022 — 2025
What They Are Likely to Ask
Whether I can own a close across multiple entities without supervision — the three-entity close is the closest evidence.
How I handle controls and audit. The reconciliation audit and the payment review threshold are the relevant examples.
Whether I can manage people. Two accounts officers, one of whom was promoted last year.
Why I am leaving. I have told them it is for scope rather than dissatisfaction, which is true, and I have said so to you directly.
Practical
They will call rather than write. Expected timing: late September, after the second interview.
If it is easier, a short written reference on letterhead is equally acceptable to them.
Please tell me if the call is inconvenient and I will ask them to reschedule.
Why this one works
- It states the role and what it involves. A referee who knows what the job requires can aim the reference at it instead of describing you generally.
- The facts section is dates and figures only. No adjectives, no suggested phrases. You are supplying evidence, not a script — and a referee handed a script usually resents it.
- It anticipates the questions. This is the most useful part. A referee who has thought about "can he manage people" for thirty seconds before the call answers far better.
- It handles the leaving question. Telling the referee what you have said, and that it is true, prevents the most common contradiction between candidate and reference.
- Practical details remove friction. Who will call, roughly when, and an alternative if that is difficult.
Asking properly
A reference request is a favour that costs the other person real time and a small amount of professional risk. Most requests ignore both facts.
- Ask before you list them. Always. A referee surprised by a phone call gives a cautious reference, and cautious reads as negative.
- Ask in a way that allows a no. Explicitly. A reluctant yes produces a weak reference, which is worse than a different name.
- Remind them who you are through the work, not the job title, if time has passed.
- Say what it will cost them. Ten minutes, one call, a short letter.
- Tell them when contact is likely and give them the option to reschedule.
And thank them afterwards, with the outcome. Referees rarely find out what happened, and the ones who do are far more willing the next time.
Why the brief matters
A weak reference is usually not a hostile one. It is a vague one, given by someone who liked you, remembered little, and was caught between tasks.
The brief solves that. One page: the role you applied for, the factual record of your work together with dates and numbers, the questions likely to come up, and the practical details of the call.
Two rules about it. Keep it factual — dates, figures, projects — and never supply suggested wording. A referee handed phrases to repeat will either use them and sound coached, or resent being handled. Give them evidence and let them choose their own words.
Timing and contact
When references are taken varies, and getting the timing wrong is what exposes a confidential job search.
- Most employers take references after an offer, conditional on them.
- Some take them between interviews, particularly for senior roles.
- Public sector and regulated employers may request them at application.
- Recruitment agencies sometimes call early to verify a candidate before presenting them — this is the most common cause of an employer finding out.
So state your instruction to the employer in writing, on the reference page itself, and repeat it verbally at interview. "Please do not contact my current employer until an offer is agreed" is a normal, expected request and no reasonable employer objects to it.
Make it ten minutes for them.
All three samples are free to read and copy. Want them as editable Word files, or a referee brief built from your own record and the role you are applying for? Both take a minute.
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Download all three · Free
The people above are illustrative examples written for teaching purposes.
Names, employers, registration numbers and figures are invented and should not be copied
into a real application — use them as a shape to pour your own verified numbers into.